Take Me Out To The Brawl Game

I got an email during the World Series from a friend on Long Island excitedly raving about The Yankees and how The Mets were doomed. True enough, as it turns out, but who cares?

New York is, unfortunately for the rest of the country, the place where many things which affect the rest of the country take place. Maybe this past World Series will send a message to those who think the world is a vast nowhere land west of The Hudson.

The national ratings average for the Fall Classic was about a 12. That means, in TV terms, 88% of America wasn’t watching. The Fox Network is having to give make-good spots to advertisers to make up for the predicted audience that didn’t materialize. That just means they have to run even more ads during other time periods after the World Series to try to reach some more people who weren’t watching in the first place.

If these decisions and predictions of potential audience were made anywhere other than New York, they would already know- -nobody cares- -no-bo-dy.

What’s always been amazing about this to me is that most of these "New Yorkers" are transplants. They grew up in Indiana or Iowa or someplace else in the heartland and made career choices that took them to New York.

I know. I did the same thing. I lived there. I know how it gets into your blood. It truly is a great city- -while you’re living there. But once you retreat to a more sensible existence- -and, yes, living in Los Angeles is a more sensible existence as far as I’m concerned- -you begin to look at New Yorkers with the same distrust you have for any stranger you might give your car keys to. Will they steal your car? Probably not. Not wearing a red vest with a name tag and the name of the restaurant. But New Yorkers don’t wear name tags. And they all look suspicious.

But THEY don’t think so. THEY think that they are the center of the known universe and anyone who chooses not to live in New York is obviously a dolt, a rube, or a cultural retard.

I’m sure they are astonished that the rest of the country, save a few die-hard baseball fans, didn’t flock to the "Subway Series" as a hallmark of current events. All the New York based syndicated radio shows and network TV shows yabbered on about this as if Joe DiMaggio were playing, rather than goobers like Roger Clemens.

We’ve had the same attention paid to their Senate race, as if there aren’t thirty or so other Senatorial races around the country. Thank you but we have our own race here in California.

Of course, as I pointed out having lived there, you do get the feeling that you are surrounded by all things bright and beautiful. Heck, where did King Kong want to go- -Newark? And what about An Affair To Remember and the knock-off scene in Sleepless In Seattle? Sears Tower? Nope. Empire State Building.

There is so much New York in our popular culture that we are almost used to it. All of the evening network newscasts come from "World News Headquarters In New York" that we just have it pounded into our subconscious (subliminally).

So naturally they figured we’d all turn out for an "All New York World Series", but what we actually did was tune out.

Of course here in Los Angeles there is no such haughty view of "America in our own image". All you have to do is check your local listings to see what’s playing down at the theater multiplex at the mall and you’ll realize they don’t know anything about the heartland here either. They just don’t know different things. Probably because before they came to Hollywood from America they lived in New York for a year or two.

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