9-6-02, Danny McBride
A Saddam In The Hand Is Worth Two Mr
Bushes
By Danny McBride
IPS Features
“Hey, there Georgie Boy! Swingin’ Down The Street So Fancy-Free…
Nobody You Meet Could Ever See The Loneliness There…Inside You…”—The Seekers.
Boy George, it is lonely at the top- -and by “Boy George” I don’t mean the “Karma Chameleon”, but rather “Our Boy George”- -Junior Bush. Decisions. Decisions. Should you fight Saddam? Should you let it go? How on earth are you ever going to make a case for this to the American people? But how in tarnation are you ever going to be able to let it go having taken your schoolyard bully act past the point of name calling right up to where you throw punches?
Okay- -Just for a minute let’s assume that I am the American people- -okay- -one of them anyway. And pretend you’re going to try to convince me that we must go 6194 miles- -that’s the distance from Washington, D C to Baghdad- -to change regimes when you can’t even change the governor’s race in California. Delusional, Georgie Porgie. Look in the mirror.
I know you don’t want to be known as George W- -the “W” stands for “Wussy”- -Bush as your father was George Herbert “Wimpy” Bush. It’s that dynasty thing. Can’t let Saddam stay in power. Wouldn’t be prudent.
But seriously- -get a hold of reality. What did Saddam ever do to you? Yes, I know. He embarrassed your father. So for that we have to send hundreds of thousands of American kids to do what you yourself wouldn’t dare to do. How many casualties are acceptable? Why don’t you and Happy Dick Cheney lead the charge, sabres flailing, scimitars gleaming in the desert sun? Dick could wear a “Lawrence of Arabia” outfit. With all your war rhetoric and evil this-and-that speech, plus all your highly placed business associates turning out to be crooks, you could go down in flames raging wilder than those that consumed Nixon. Of course that depends on the body bag count.
Let’s look at some facts: A political ruler of another country- -okay- -Saddam Hussein in Iraq- -has been a part of the government ruling that country- -Iraq- -since 1968. Oh, he wasn’t the ruler he is now at first, but he’s been either in charge or partly so since then. By 1975 he was Vice-President. By the late 70s and early 80s Saddam was our friend as we took Iran to task for taking US hostages and our embassy. Then we urged Iraq to attack Iran and we backed their effort.
In 1984 the Reagan administration opened full diplomatic relations with Iraq and began sharing intelligence with them. Of course at the same time the US began sharing intelligence and selling weapons to Iran. In 1985 the US told Iran that they would help the Iranians overthrow Saddam. But the next year, 1986, the US increased aid to Iraq. And the next year, 1987, the US bombed Iranian oil platforms. In 1988 a cease fire was agreed upon by Iran and Iraq. And in 1989, a war plan originally conceived to counter the Soviet presence in the Middle East was altered to name Iraq as the main threat in the region.
In 1990 Iraq invaded Kuwait, claiming they were only taking back land that was originally theirs- -Guess what? They were right. When the British drew up the maps of this region in the years immediately following World War One, dividing up the territory as it suited them so as to have a land route to India which they still also controlled at the time, they purposely drew a line across southern Iraq creating Kuwait in order to prevent Iraq from having access to the Persian Gulf.
So Iraq invaded Kuwait, which was “slant drilling” with American equipment into Iraqi oil fields. And in 1991, ta-da! The “Gulf War”. Yes we won. And for ten or eleven years we’ve had an uneasy peace, if you can call it that, with daily flights over no-fly zones and countless “incidents” involving us shooting and bombing selective sites inside Iraq.
Now all of a sudden, because you can’t find Osama or Mullah Omar, and because your blow-hard tripe about the “War On Terror” has fizzled like a dud sparkler, you must do SOMETHING or risk being called a wus at election time. Just this past weekend New York Daily News reporters breached security at eleven airports. Fourteen flights. Six airlines. And four of the eleven airports were the September 11th departure points. They took box cutters, cork screws, razor knives, pepper spray- -all kinds of stuff and were not detected. (Great words from a United Airlines spokesperson quoted in the Associated Press version of the story: “That is a violation of federal law that you guys knowingly took those items on an airline”. Yeah, and I suppose that would stop any would-be skyjacker.) Hey United person- -sit down and shut up- -You’re lucky you still have a job, considering the financial shape of your airline.
Okay- -so all this security-at-airports nonsense is just what I’ve been saying for a year- -all smoke and mirrors. On a flight from Boston to Los Angeles this summer, my carry-on bag was thoroughly rummaged at Logan Airport. I asked the man doing the rummaging where he was from, noting his accent and swarthy complexion. He said “Why you want to know?” Oh, just curious, says I. “Morocco.” And I think “what’s wrong with this picture? He’s checking me out?” Oh he was probably a nice enough guy without a terrorist bone in his body.
Now- -here comes Georgie W Bush to say once again that we are in mortal danger if we don’t remove Saddam from power. And there’s no doubt that we can do it. War is what this country does best. We were created by war. We’ve fought several big ones in a little more than 200 years, and we no doubt can kick Saddam’s butt- -But- -what do you put in his place? Instead of bombing Baghdad, maybe we should bomb Riyadh. There’s a lot more reason to do that. Although seriously George- -why don’t you just go and have a drink. Fall off the wagon for a day or two. You’re the one who needs to get bombed.
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