Voice
in the Crowd
By
Pete Chaney
IPS Features


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IPS Features Staff

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Pete@ipsfeatures.com

 

 






The blessings of friendship

Christmas is that time of year to count our blessings, those things God has given us for which we are thankful.  There’s our health, no matter how badly we may feel at times it could be worse.  There’s prosperity, regardless if the bank account may be short, it could be shorter.  There’s a warm house on a cold day.  A tasty meal when we’re hungry.

There is another blessing we easily over look.  The presence and company of friends.  Friendship enriches our lives more then we realize.

At times when we feel depressed and blue, a visit or a phone call from a friend can change the world again.  Now even an email can do it.  Sometimes even recalling the face or words of a friend can renew our spiritual energy.  Someone said we are lucky if we can count our friends on the fingers of one hand.  That’s ridiculous.  No one should be that demanding to test our friends.  They are there.  We accept them.

It is hard to recall every friend whose presence has brightened our lives.  Each brings back a memory of something.

There was Neal Clark, Jr., who was a friend of 50 plus years ago and I’ll never forget him.  We were college classmates and worked together at the Norfolk Virginian Pilot newspaper.  Being the hothead I was, I got mad at quit my job at a weekly newspaper, forgetting I had a young bride to support.  Neal offered to make my car payments until I got on my feet.  I didn’t accept but never forgot the offer—or his friendship and very presence when I felt low.

Jacques Zinman was a special friend.  When I worked with him at his Lakes Insurance Agency in Florida, he said one day he would give me the “shirt off his back.”  He did, literally.  His friendship enriched my life more than I can say.  He is now suffering from kidney failure.  I offered to donate one of my kidneys to him, but his secretary said his heart wasn’t strong enough to handle the transplant.  If I had two hearts, I would certainly give him one of those.

When Gaines Hobbs was executive assistant to then Mayor Gene Roberts, his office in City Hall was like an oasis of intellect and refreshing thoughts.  He always seemed to make time for conversation and exchange of ideas.  At the time I was still hooked on nicotine, difficult to go long without a cigarette.  There was no smoking in the building.  On a sunny day Gaines went with me out to sit on the front steps where I would smoke and we could continue our conversation.

It was a pleasure to be in the company of Lee Stoller and his wife, Cristy Lane.  She had a genuine warmth and love of people that translates into her song.  I have seen her cry with compassion over the pain she saw in others.  Lee should be called the Unsinkable Stoller.  He rose above problems with a buoyancy that is amazing.  An inspiration to anyone who has suffered pain and loss, he is an example of survival against all odds.  On top of it, he brings to any conversation or group a sense of humor that begins with a twinkle in his eye as if he knows something amusing and interesting he is going to share with you.

A conversation with Bart Crattie is stimulating.  He is well read, intelligent and knowledgeable on many subjects.  A verbal trip with him through history, politics or social behavior is a pleasure.  Joe Cheek is a born adversary in any discussion.  If you are a Republican, he will take the Democratic cause.  He can be a chameleon to swiftly change sides—and prod his adversary to see what he or she really believes.

Tom Stanfield—or Peanut as he is better known—is a delight when you’re in his presence.  His wit at 83 is still sharp, almost as sharp as his sense of humor.  He is getting deaf now and I must nearly shout when we’re together at the VFW.  Strangers visiting the post watch with amusement, like they see Laurel and Hardy reenacting a routine.

Kimra Traynor Herb comes up sometimes from her home in Birmingham for an all too brief lunch.  She is the epitome of intellectual vitality.  This transmits into her newspaper columns which are rapid fire accounts of her daily life.  Her presence, the ever present smile and the enthusiasm can regenerate anyone.

When he comes into a room, you know Bill Bennett is there.  He seems to bring a glow of humanity with him.  Someone meeting Bill for the first time might well wonder if anyone could be as good a man as Bill seems to be.  There is a man that good.  That man is Bill Bennett.

There was that Christmas when I was alone and Mike Mahn invited me to spend it with him and his family, saying all I needed to bring was my toothbrush.  That will always be dear to my heart.

It is hard to imagine how I got through so many years of my life without knowing Dalton Roberts and being able to call him friend.  Maybe God, in His wisdom, said we weren’t ready until we had enough life behind us. Regardless, he has enriched my life beyond measure.  He can preach a sermon that could make you cry or tell a joke to make you blush.  Being with him opens your mind to caverns of thoughts and curiosity you didn’t know were there.  You even find out things about yourself.  He is a good listener.  My belief has always been all a preacher or psychologist has to do is be a good listener.  We know our problems, just need to say it out loud.  People don’t want advice, just a listener.  Dalton has listened to many people in his lifetime, and continues with compassionate patience.

It would take a book the size of War and Peace to scratch the surface of friends who have given me so much, so much more than I could ever give in return.  I can only thank God to have been blessed with them, and to wish God’s blessings on all of them and to have a Merry Christmas.




 

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