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EVERYONE NEEDS THEIR OWN CULT
One
of my favorite pals is Rev. Joyous Jefferson Pigsfeet, That’s what he
joyously calls himself and I joyously enjoy his funny routines.
The title he has joyously bestowed upon himself is “General Overseer of
the Joyous Flock.” The motto of the Joyous Flock is “get yourself up to
joyous and keep yourself there.”
Even the rituals of his church are joyously hilarious. His next in
command is Wah Bootie Hassah and once a year Wah Bootie slides down a
giant water slide while the thousands of Flock members chant “Wah ....
Bootie ... Hassah” as he slides.There’s never a dull moment in the
Joyous Flock
I joined the Joyous Flock as soon as he told me about it. In return for
my support, he joined my organization which I call WACKY (World
Association of Cults, Kooks and Yahoos.). It has been so much fun that I
have decided everyone should start their own cult -- at least in their
mind or on paper.
It gives you a great way to do two important things: to make religious
ideas you think to be silly look silly and to play up those you think
have worth.
Like His Joyousness definitely thinks joy is a valuable thing and his
water sllide ritual helps us laugh over some of the rituals that people
take so solemnly. Every time I see those high and holy muckudy mucks
walking around with high round hats, carrying their long scepters and
smoking snifters, and droning Latin in a boring monotone iI gives me
ideas for new WACKY rituals.
I do reserve the right to laugh over any religious practice that makes
me laugh. If the ritual means a lot to someone else, I can respect that
fact but if it amuses me to the point of laughter, I am going to laugh
and those who take it seriously need to respect my right to be amused.
I look at it this way: If enough people had laughed at Jim Jones Koolade
ritual it might have saved the lives of 800 of his followers who did the
stupid ritual until they actually took it serious, poisoned it and drank
it.
Never underestimate the gullibility of people when it comes to religion.
Never underestimate the mental illness of power-mad cult leaders.
Remember the little sweet-talking sky-walking idiot who talked a lot of
people into killing themselves just as a certain comet passed nearby so
they could all catch the tail end of it and go streaking to eternal
bless. You could never create anything in your cult that could come
close to that for riotous insanity.
A few nights ago I listened to a chubby TV evangelist speaking to acres
of empty-eyed people about how Jesus was going to suck up all the
“saints” into the air and leave everyone else down here to suffer
unimaginable agonies for 7 years. As he described their suffering his
eyes clearly glistened with a grin of utmost sadistic pleasure, like a
sexual sadist who was watching the pain of someone he was torturing. If
he is right and gluttony is a sin, he will be one who doesn’t get sucked
up.
No one should have to listen to a man like that talk about Jesus, the
most loving and caring man to ever walk the planet.
Please ... someone start a cult and call it “Heavenly Suction.”
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