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Danny |
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Okay, sing along: “PAC your coat and PAC your hat-
-Leave donations on the doorstep- -
We’ve got a drum to beat- -On the
MONEY Side of the Street- -“
Political Action Committees.
5-27s. No axe
unground.
If you’ve got something to say
And you’ve got the money
Buy some TV spots and flail away.
It doesn’t have to be true.
It can be straight or funny
It just has to make noise for your
point of view.
In fact the louder and meaner, the
better chance you have of being noticed.
“How long has it been since you stopped beating your wife?”
Doesn’t matter if it never happened.
Let the accused respond. Make
him stumble and mumble and say how he never even had a wife, let alone
had one he beat, even at checkers.
Checkers!!
Now there was a speech!!- -with a fine Republican cloth coat and
a cute little dog named- -Checkers!!
That’s why they call it the “Checkers Speech”.
A great moment in television history- -Vice-presidential
candidate Richard Nixon going on TV during the 1952 election campaign to
say that his wife was not the recipient of a fur coat- -that she had a
“fine Republican cloth coat”. And
fifty years later it seems mild indeed compared with what’s running on
the air now, and now- - Now we have NOW-
-the National Organization for Women.
And we have McCain’s Straight Talk America countered by
Tom Daschle’s Dedicated Americans for the House and Senate.
And that’s just the start- -Here are a few more: AmeriPAC - supporting conservative candidates
throughout the country. But
wait!!- - Animal
Legislative Action Network - dedicated to the establishment
of rights for animals through participation in the political process. I
wonder if this means your dog or cat may eventually get the vote?
Probably in Florida. “Here
Chad. Here boy.” Campaign
For Working Families - conservative PAC supporting
pro-family, pro-life, pro-free enterprise candidates at state and
federal levels. Of
course, if you’re out of a job, you’re also out of luck.
You can be as “Pro” as you like, but you need to have a job. Club
for Growth, The - national membership organization supporting
candidates who are advocates of the Reagan vision of limited government
and lower taxes. Ha!!
Guess they are going to be waiting out in the lobby for some
time. Or maybe lobbying out
in the waiting room. Can you spell DEFICIT? Sort
of like the shoe: DOES-IT-FIT? Wear
it. EMILY's
List - committed to electing pro-choice Democratic women to
office. Or maybe it’s
just a list for groceries. Don’t
forget the baloney. Extraterrestrial
Phenomena Political Action Committee (X-PPAC) - targets the
politics of UFO/ET phenomena and the government embargo on evidence
confirming an extraterrestrial presence.
This is one of my favorites- -like My
Favorite Martian. Fight
Ordinances & Restrictions to Control & Eliminate Smoking
- PAC dedicated to fighting anti-smoking laws. That’s
right. Light up.
Inhale. Exhale.
Cough. Die. Godless
Americans Political Action Committee
- mobilizing America's nonbelievers for political activism.
They have no hope- -no chance of working. They haven’t got a
prayer. GOPAC -This is the Republicans’ big one. Get it? GOP PAC?
Sounds more like something from the corner liquor store complete
with beer, beef jerky and chips. Government
Is Not God - Christian Conservative political action
committee. Why do they
think that God is a conservative? Because
he told Pat Robertson to run for president?
Sounds like God has a great sense of humor and just might be a
Democrat. Green
Power – raising money for Green Party candidates.
Little Green Men and Women.
MoveOn.org - -A big one for
Democratic causes. They
make the slickest ads on TV.
New
Century Project
- dedicated to returning power, money, and influence to the American
people. Great!
I’ll take some of each. Responsibility
Opportunity Community PAC - chaired by Senator Joseph
Lieberman. Hey Joe!!
Just what the heck does this mean?
ROC? And Roll? Restoring
the American Dream - chaired by Dick DeVos, President of
Amway Corporation. Supports conservative candidates.
And soap. And an
all-purpose cleaner. True
Majority - organization started by Ben and Jerry's Ben Cohen
monitors social issues in Washington and sends out email action alerts.
The Chunky Monkey Report. XPAC
- political action committee dedicated to building a new generation of
political leaders and community activists.
Building? What are
they, Robots? But my favorite is The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
You know when key words like “Truth” are used that there
probably is none, or they are playing fast and loose with what little of
it they use. Would their
logical antagonists be Potheads Against the War?
Hippies Without Borders?
Or maybe Barnes and Noble? All of these groups, and dozens more, will be heard from in the
next few weeks as the election cycle steams to a head.
There will be TV ads and planted newspaper articles and emails
that will contain half-truths or less than half, or none at all.
They all seem to be aimed at the “undecided voter”, whoever
that is. Are YOU undecided
at this point? How could
anyone possibly be? If you
haven’t figured out whom you like at this point, stay home and let
those who have been paying attention do the voting. The old adage is that we get the kind of government we deserve.
Unless of course the voting machines don’t work properly or the
Supreme Court decides differently.
Mark Twain’s line is still my favorite: “Suppose you are an idiot.
Now suppose you are a Congressman- -Ah, but I repeat myself.” Have a nice day.
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