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Danny |
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Recently President Bush League sat down with
NBC’s Tim Russert to make a few campaign statements as a way of
opening up his side of the argument in behalf of his own reёlection.
Here is some of what he said: “I am a War President.
We now have a War on Madmen who are terrorists.
I am the President. Therefore
I am a War President. I
would be a War President even if we did not have a War, for I would make
sure we had a War. This was what Dick Cheney and Rummy promised me when we were
planning to take over the U S Government back before I became the War
President. Vice President
Cheney told me I could be the War President and that he would make sure
there was a War for me to be President of, so I could be a War
President. That would guarantee my reёlection as a War President,
as long as we had a War.” “We
live in dangerous times because it is very dangerous. And because it is very dangerous, it makes everything in the
world even more dangerous. If
the world were not so dangerous, it would not be such a dangerous world,
but it is a dangerous world
and therefore it is very dangerous.” “We
know there are Madmen out there. Some
of them are very mad. We
have to take steps, to take action, to engage these Madmen before they
act even madder than we know they already are.
Therefore, sometimes we have to have a plan of action to deal
with these Madmen, who are very mad.
This calls for young people to do their duty and track down and
find these Madmen whatever hole they are hiding in.
And if they have to die, I will tell their parents I am very
sorry, but we have a war now, and I am the War President.” “When
I was a young man, I was in the Texas National Guard, but I went to
Alabama with a banjo on my knee. I
went to Alabama to help a guy my Dad knew get elected but he didn’t
win. So then I went back to
Texas but I took the long way back, that’s all.” “ I am a War President. Did I mention that? My
team, my advisors, they had good INTEL and they created this War, this
War of Necessity. It was a
necessity because how could I be a War President if we didn’t have a
war? So we had a war
planned, and guess what? 9-11,
that’s what! But we
can’t fight the Saudis who did that because we have a history with the
Saudis. Prince Bandar and I
have been pen pals since the third grade.
So we had to fight somebody else.
We went to Afghanistan. That
was pretty good. But in
order to be a War President we had to have a real war.
So we decided to have one in Iraq.
Wolfy and Rummy knew we could win that one so I would get to be a
War President during the election season.
People like War Presidents.
They get reёlected and remembered the best.
So that’s why I am a War President.” “Yes
we thought they had nuke-u-lar weapons.
We haven’t found any so far, but we have
found the phone number of this guy in Pakistan, A Q Kahn, who said he
could sell them one if they wanted.
Or at least the plans of how to make one.
We know who he is.” “See,
we want the American People to be afraid, be very afraid, and then they
will know they have to reёlect the War President, because so far,
the War President has kept all of America safe, even though we have
repealed much of The Constitution with the Patriot Act and you can’t
check out a library book without us knowing about it.
If you are afraid enough, you will reёlect me, the War
President, because I have kept the War over there and not over here, at
least so far, which is the best place to have a war- -over there.
That still makes me a War President even though the war is over there.” “I want to say one thing about the economy.
The economy is very sound. All
those hundreds of thousands of people who are out of work are helping
the economy by spending their unemployment checks to keep this economy
going. In over two hundred
years of history in this country whenever we’ve had a war we have
never cut taxes. But we
have taken a different approach. By
cutting the taxes of the wealthiest 1% of the people we have actually
stimulated our economy even though the poorest twenty million people in
America will not be able to buy food.
But we would enjoy having them as part of our “faith based”
volunteer programs. They
could work in homeless shelters and soup kitchens and pass out stuff to
the next most neediest Americans up the food chain, as it were, as long
as they don’t need medical care because they won’t be able to have
any.” “And finally I’d like to remind you that
there is a War on and I am a War President.
And people shouldn’t change Presidents during a War, which is
one of the main reasons we timed this War of Necessity to coincide with
the year 2004 election campaign. It
was a necessity to have timed it for now so that it would be a great reёlection
wedge issue. That and Gay
Marriage and Super Bowl Half-Time Shows.
These are all the issues that the American people truly care
about and even though there is a war on and I am a War President we will
attack these issues.” “Thank
you for your time. And I
thank the American people. God
Bless America, and only America.” |
