|
|
Side |
|
|
Return to Current IPS Features
|
My friend Tammy was telling me that she has a brother in law who has golden luck. According to her, anything he touches magically makes money. This guy should play the lottery. Me, on the other hand… not so much. Last week my name was entered into a hat to draw for some very fabulous prizes. I had realized this chance by raising money for the Diabetes Association, and was one of only FIVE people entered into the drawing. I was imagining that fancy dinner and wondering what I would wear. Remember, I had a ONE IN FIVE chance of winning. Surely my odds were pretty good. The moral of this story is...never plan for a dinner prize unless you have a 1 in 1 chance of winning. My husband and I have always seemed to buy homes when the market is at an all time high, and sold when the exact opposite is true. We buy stock high, sell low, and do a lot of treading water, so to speak, financially. And all of this, you know, we could kind of take when we thought we were the luckiest family in the world. Because for a short, golden time, we were. Then we lost Carrick and I think that both my hubby and I could ever really understand how this could happen to us. We were “lucky” you see, in love. Or so we thought. And yet… the glass is still half full, and so many people have suffered as much as we have and so much more. We have two other fantastic, bright and talented sons, a wonderful family and friends who have gone beyond where I could imagine, and strong, healthy bodies. So I need to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for myself. I tell myself that a lot. And though I know Carrick is in Heaven, and in no pain, I still REALLY miss him. So I try to divert myself by doing something productive. Like the Diabetes Bicycle Fundraiser. Before I even KNEW there WAS a prize for top fund-raisers, I was happy just to do my best for the organization and send out fundraising emails. That happiness turned to momentary luck-lust when I heard about the drawing for the fabulous dinner. All which ended predictably with the drawing of another fund-raiser’s name. Bummer, dude. Lost out again. I do wish I had Tammy’s bro-in-law’s fantastic Midas Touch. I cannot help it, I am jealous of that guy and his amazing ability to turn straw into gold. I would buy a new car, a maid, an amazing trip….if only I had that kind of luck, why, everything in my life would be easier. Except, of course, for the REALLY BIG HOLE in my heart. No amount of magic luck could patch that giant gaping thing up for even a moment. That kind of healing is beyond luck. It takes faith and patience and even both of those are kind of just a bridge to another time and place. When and where luck won’t matter and a trip to a restaurant will pale to seeing my boy and folding him in my arms once again. |
