Kimra Traynor Herb

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Kimra Traynor Herb
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Joining a health club

There are many benefits of belonging to a health club. Some of them are obvious- improved cardiovascular system, toned muscles and better wellness. I sort of expected all of that when I joined a club last fall. I also expected that with each day, I would feel better and better about myself- physically, that is, and here is where I was wrong. Dead wrong. Each day that I go to the health club, it becomes increasingly obvious that despite daily one hour cardio workouts, and three times a week Pilates classes, and numerous weight work outs- I cannot fight genetics. This is a harsh reality. My thighs, though a size four, are still shaped pretty much as they always were. Which is to say.... less than streamlined. My "glutes" as the instructors call my..... hind end area..... may be higher than it previously was, but it is still, in my opinion, super-sized. My stomach is flatter- but the waffle pattern stretch marks from three pregnancies plus the overindulgence of sweets has left me about 4 cans short of a six pack. In short, I have a thin, trimmer version of..... my own crappy body.
This is not stuff dreams are made of, I tell ya. And each day as I sweat and puff my way through classes, I am assaulted by all these "perfect" bodies that I would really like to claim as my own. The instructors, in particular, have these amazing shapes. You know the drill- six pack stomachs, toned, thin thighs (no bumps on those suckers, you can bet on it) and small, tight hineys. It's cruel to see; I can't stress it enough. And you would like to think (or I would) that the REASON they look so good is because of something they did- or didn't do. For example, I was pretty sure none of them could have possibly have endured pregnancies- no way, hose´ - not with stomachs as flat as theirs. Imagine my shock and chagrin when I found out that ALL of them had children- one had even had QUADRUPLETS- and had gained over 100 pounds during her pregnancy. When I first started out, all those months ago, I was less discouraged and more encouraged. "If I work hard enough.... I will look just like Ellen, or Jeanine." I thought to myself and redoubled my efforts, struggling to stretch poor muscles that didn't know what the HECK was going on in my head. This was really hard for me because unlike my siblings- I am not athletic by nature. My first few trips to the club my friend Kathy had to chastise me for carrying my purse to cycle class.
"What do you think you are going to do with that?" She asked, incredulous.
"What do you mean?" I replied. "I take my purse everywhere." I couldn't imagine being without that guy filled with such necessities as lipstick, mints, money and the like. I did switch to a gym bag but I still wear lipstick and mascara to work out. I mean, come on- I may not have abs of steel but there is no way people need the brutal reality of seeing both my lumpy thighs and my pale eyelashes all in one bang of horror.
Anyway, in the beginning, I thought there was hope. I just knew that one day I would see myself side by side by the aforementioned Ellen or Jeanine and be shocked at how closely my body resembled theirs. What I was NOT expecting was that after months and months of continued work outs that I would still have my own bumpy body- it would just be STRONGER and bumpy. I am convinced that under that layer of fat there are some killer muscles just trying to get out from under the cover of my genetic legacy. It saddens me to admit that those muscles may have to just do their work from under the layer of "Traynor thighs" that have been my curse since puberty.
This is not heartening. I keep going to the gym every day, though, because the alternative is worse- my same lumpy body- just LARGER and weak. Not a pretty thought- I've been there and done that and that whole deal was even less of a party than I have going on now. I think I am finally coming to grips with the sad news that I may never look as good as Ellen or Jeanine or the countless other "hardbodies" who are lucky enough not to have the genetic time bomb of lumpy thighs and huge butts lurking in their family trees. I am trying to keep positive thoughts and not get discouraged when after hours of work I am stuck about where I am now. As I mentioned; there are a lot of benefits to being a member of a health club. But trying to maintain good self-esteem among the throngs of totally perfect bodies is definitely on the "negative" list- it ain't easy being a pear in a land of toothpicks.